Sell your loose skin on Instagram

I know I promised to write a bariatric approved product review.  

But first, this that showed up in my suggested Google links.

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Girl, what are you thinking?  Why are we flopping our fupa all over the Instagram and sharing/errr selling it to The Sun UK?  We know that shit is real.  (Did she really make a single account for, um, skin?)

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For a moment I am tempted to pull out the skin I AM IN -- you know -- IN POST WEIGHT LOSS SOLIDARITY, after losing 170 pounds and having two babies and start a fupa social media campaign.  

But, uh, no.  It's very, very real.  We are quite aware.  You don't have to flop it on Insta to prove it to any-one.   

Loose skin needs a song by Beyonce.  Write it?


So it's been a minute.

I signed on with a company to do a monthly product review of "bariatric-approved" products.  My first product arrived this weekend, and in the spirit of full disclosure before I even start the review I have to tell you (...before I laugh, cry, or other?) that I hand-picked the first product because I know I like it. It's something I used to promote back in The Day of Blogging.  (I do not know when the day ended, but it's no longer that day.) 

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The reason I am oversharing with you -- is because -- when I sniffed around the blog to find the first post about said product and it was written or even re-written MORE THAN EIGHT YEARS AGO.  Guys.  This means I could have written about this item nine or ten years ago and I am about to throw it back in your faces because I am:

  • Old As Hell  (Did you figure out how long has been?  Because I just had a minor heart failure.)
  • Still Around  (Sorry?)
  • Crazy (...to still be around?  LOL)
  • Hungry?
  • Have Five Kids To Feed And Free Product Sounds Amazing Right About Now
  • You Pick

What's worse?  I deleted the initial URL for whatever reason, so the copy and paste of my words is showing up online in scraped feeds on other sites. Or on sites I used to frequent.  

I just wanted to know how much this stuff cost back in ye olden days.  (Yes, this is how I think.  Post tomorrow.)


Maranatha No Stir Almond Butter Coconut

One of the first "rules" (....bahahahaha, rules?) of gastric bypass I learned early on - was not to add concentrated sources of extra calories where they were totally unnecessary.  A food that qualifies the unnecessary category for me is -  peanut butter and nuts.

I don't like peanut butter, so I was not bothered by not enjoying a peanut butter and jelly sandwich after weight loss surgery.  

However, one of the other things you learn later on is YOU NEED EXTRA FAT SOMETIMES.  To, uh, make your body work, and to make your skin not fall off.  (This is just personal experience.  Your mileage may vary.  Your body should vary, yadda yadda yadda.)   Many of us find that we under-eat fat.

A few weeks ago, I saw in the peanut butter aisle while picking up the nasty creamy gallon jug of peanut butter for my kids, this:

Maranatha No-Stir Almond Butter with Coconut.

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To be fair, I was drawn to it because it read CREAMY and COCONUT.  Perhaps I thought it was going to taste of sweet coconut?  (I AM A SWEET COCONUT FAN, and I think I might have picked this up thinking it'd be a decadent macaroon-y flavor.  Sweet macaroons are asking for sweet death.)  Instead, I bought the almond spread -- I made toast.  I opened the glass jar, and mixed, it's got a slight oil on top, but nothing like natural peanut butter and it's more creamy like coconut butter - and I smeared it onto my bread.  It's a very subtle taste, a teeny bit nutty, lesser sweet, and creamy.  Not at all thick like emulsified peanut or other creamy butters.  

  • Made with whole coconut pulp.
  • MaraNatha All Natural Coconut Almond Butter Creamy. No stir.
  • Combines the delicious taste of roasted almonds with the unique flavor of coconut into a smooth nut butter to enjoy every day.
  • Liven up your favorite sandwich, spread on toast, apples, pancakes or add to your favorite hot cereal for a unique meal, or simply enjoy straight from the jar!
  • It's a delicious treat you can feel good about enjoying each and every day.
  • Please recycle this container.
  • Comments or questions?
  • Call 1-800-749-0730 or visit www.maranathafoods.com.

Warnings:

Warning Text: Contains: almonds, coconuts. May contain traces of peanuts, soy and tree nuts.

Ingredients:

Ingredients: Dry Roasted Almonds, Creamed Coconut, Evaporated Cane Syrup, Palm Oil, Salt.

I loved it.  I ate the whole jar over breakfasts in the next couple of weeks, every single morning.  I must have really really liked it.  When I returned to the store yesterday, however, I noted that it costs double what the peanut butter cost, at least, and I couldn't justify buying it this week.  Maybe next time.  (You know, I had to get my bread, which costs way too much.  :x  ..... )

  • Product - Maranatha No Stir Almond Butter Coconut
  • Price - $7
  • Bought from Wal - Mart, I know, I know, but I am an unemployed parent of five.
  • Pros - Healthy oils, HELPS YOU POOPS, subtle taste, easy to eat, good source of calories if you need them.  I would put this in a protein shake for added calories in TWO SECONDS.
  • Cons - Um, same.
  • Rating - Pouchworthy, MMBBGC
  • Check them out here - https://www.facebook.com/maranathanutbutters/

 


Our first injury. I think. Maybe. Probably not. Not mine anyway.

People like to make fun of first-time parents.  They run to the emergency room with their babies littlest concerns.  Sometimes that is true.  20 years ago we probably took a baby to the ER for a head bump once or twice for no real cause, and now?  Well, look at this poor nose.

 

A video posted by Beth Sheldon-Badore (@mmbbgc) on

What happened?

Dad came home and realized he needed something outside in the car -- the mailbox -- somewhere. He opened the baby gate, failed to click it shut, and went out the side door, and did not shut that. Someone who now walks Very Fast, followed him while I was five feet away and I did not notice. The baby was in the presence of THREE ADULTS and none of us noticed that he took off after Daddy. He was gone maybe ten seconds, went through the baby gate, down a step and onto the walkway bricks. Boom on the hands and nose.

Someone who now walks Very Fast, followed him while I was five feet away in the kitchen and I did not notice. The baby was in the presence of THREE ADULTS and none of us noticed that he took off after Daddy. He was gone maybe ten seconds, went through the baby gate, down a step and onto the walkway bricks. Boom on the hands and nose.  He was fine, a red clown nose, and now a scabby scrape.  BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN AWFUL.  

Toddlers are dangerous people, guys.  I spend so. much. time. per. day. keeping this child from killing himself un-intentionally.  


Explain to me -- subscription boxes -- bariatric samples?

A friend just pointed out weight loss surgery themed subscription box service, you know -- where you sign up to have a selection of samples (I am guessing these are sample sizes based on the photos given on the website that is at the moment very limited...) sent to you each month.  For your payment -- a flat-fee of $34.95 -- you are sent 8 - 12 sample-size products for the bariatric patient.  

I can see the niche of people who'd want this.  Hi.  

I was curious enough to throw my email on their mailing list, but I wonder are free samples worth $4 each?  Maybe, I suppose if they have been sourced for you and shipped to you?  How long of a commitment is this kind of service?  I'm not the kind of person that throws out $34.95 for a box of I Don't Know What's Coming in exchange for grocery money -- however -- I could be swayed.  

Don't think I am picking on this service just because it's "bariatric" I have no clue who's pimping it -- I say the same thing about the underpanties boxes -- the snack boxes -- all boxes -- I see them as profit machines for the person behind the curtain.  :)  I would simply like to know WHY it is worth the cost since some of it is free to the consumer already.  Show me. 


Food intolerances two years after gastric bypass (PS - No, really?)

Apparently this concern with gastric bypass patients hasn't been "well-studied."

Hey researchers - PLEASE SEEK OUT PATIENTS WHOM COMPLAIN OF EXACTLY THESE ISSUES FROM DAY ONE.  

Because, uh, *putting on my Dr. Google Hat* they're totally normal and expected, or so we thought?  Or am I living under a rock where it's that we're not supposed to live with digestive distress most of the time?I suppose this is my bias because I live as a distressed patient, with a distressed patient, and know mostly only distressed patients?  And WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE FOODS LISTED IN THIS STUDY!?

I am using a lot of question marks lately.  I need to stop that.

Discuss.

Study blurb via Reuters -

(Reuters Health) - A common weight loss surgery is associated with long-term gastrointestinal problems and food intolerance, a recent study suggests.

Researchers examined data on 249 extremely obese patients who had what’s known as laparoscopic Roux-en-Y gastric bypass, which reduces the stomach to a small pouch about the size of an egg.

Two years after surgery, these patients had lost about 31 percent of their total body weight on average. But compared to the control group of 295 obese people who didn’t have operations, the gastric bypass patients were far more likely to experience indigestion and an inability to tolerate multiple foods.

“It was already known from previous studies that the Roux-en-Y gastric bypass might aggravate gastrointestinal symptoms after surgery,” said lead study author Dr. Thomas Boerlage of MC Slotervaart in Amsterdam.

 

 


Instantblog

Alright guys, who is going to send me this?  Can you feed a family of seven in an InstantPot?  Tell me more.  I need to know all about this thing.  These things.  All the things.  Amazon linkage below will send you to the product page.  Comments are entertaining as always. 

 


Worth a read. New York Times article about a year in the life of bariatric surgery

Worth a read, and worth a watch.  This mimics a bit of my experience, my family's experiences, and brings up some (deeper) questions.  As someone who's had gastric bypass in 2004, I'm always intrigued at any new science that's discovered about the gut - brain connections.

"Nearly 200,000 Americans have bariatric surgery each year. Yet far more — an estimated 24 million — are heavy enough to qualify for the operation, and many of them are struggling with whether to have such a radical treatment, the only one that leads to profound and lasting weight loss for virtually everyone who has it. Most people believe that the operation simply forces people to eat less by making their stomachs smaller, but scientists have discovered that it actually causes profound changes in patients’ physiology, altering the activity of thousands of genes in the human body as well as the complex hormonal signaling from the gut to the brain."

Article - New York Times


The costs of obesity

A shocking report.  

"Obesity and excess weight is an expanding health problem for more than 60 percent of Americans, and a new study by Hugh Waters and Ross DeVol finds that it's a tremendous drain on the U.S. economy as well. The total cost to treat health conditions related to obesity—ranging from diabetes to Alzheimer's—plus obesity's drag on attendance and productivity at work exceeds $1.4 trillion annually. That's more than twice what the U.S. spends on national defense. The total, from 2014 data, was equivalent to 8.2 percent of U.S. GDP, and it exceeds the economies of all but three U.S. states and all but 10 countries. The report also highlights how this public health challenge can best be addressed."

Is obesity something that we should be tackling?  My gut (no pun intended) says OMG OF COURSE YES, because we are looking at some very preventable disesases.  Those are some cah-razy numbers.  However, does the pharmaceutical industry care?  I mean:  obesity is Big. Money. 

Read the report:

Weighing-Down-America-cover

http://assets1b.milkeninstitute.org/assets/Publication/ResearchReport/PDF/Weighing-Down-America-WEB.pdf


A scale with no batteries.

We moved house on Halloween, and in the process, my scale lost it's batteries.  

I have avoided quite successfully, replacing the batteries to the scale.  The scale, with it's cracked plastic face, still weighs and measures quite accurately and is that what I am afraid of?  It hasn't been very long since I checked in with that scale.  And my eating hasn't changed much at all, as it never does.  I eat what doesn't kill me, and occasional OH MY GOD I MIGHT DIE BECAUSE I ATE THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE WARNED ME foods.  I have been one of the most boring-est eaters since weight loss surgery you might ever know.  

What I do know is that I am in need of clothes, it's nearly winter and I was wearing maternity clothes in a bigger size last year, and I have nothing right now that fits me appropriately and I really did not want to start this season in my kids' hand me downs.  I am in that NO YOU CAN'T GAIN ANYMORE range, I know it.  I don't need a scale to tell me that I can hold up a pair of size 14 jeans on my regain butt. 

Then again, I'm also okay at this size, because it's also where I land every time I just simply eat what I feel like having without drama. Does that make any sense to you?  I feel like if I just added exercise to my current-state-of-toast-and-protein, I would trickle back to my tighter self.  Honestly, it's the lack of Doing, not the Poor Eating.  I am a decent, not super, decent, better than many, eater.  A few days a week of moving my ass would really do the trick.

Could someone just sell that as an edible product  -- motivation?  Because I don't have it.  Aside from running a 13 month old up and down stairs, it's just not happening.  All the advice in the world, I'll find excuses.  

off to find some batteries and weigh-in

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Don't ever hire movers. Or, just don't move. Don't buy houses. Shout out to Casey Movers of Rockland, MA!

I know I haven't blogged in regular blogs, but we've spent the last two weeks moving -- and move day (s) turned into Hell Week.

This is mostly why.

Thank you CASEY MOVERS of Rockland, MA. (Waits for ads to change)

After a failed "full pack," Casey's "professional packers" left us with truck loads of stuff to pack before our buyers came to the house for their final real estate walk through.  We were thoroughly embarrassed as we packed the last of our household into our own cars in the pouring rain, while the 18-wheeler LEFT US without taking everything.

On move in day, the movers showed up hours and hours LATE.  After arriving, the mover team leader informed us that they "did not feel like" unloading the truck" and were going to go home for the night.  WE WAITED ALL DAY LONG IN AN EMPTY HOUSE AND GOT BABYSITTERS TO UNLOAD THIS TRUCK.  They did not "feel like" emptying the truck and wanted to sleep.  The smell of vanilla cigars OVERWHELMED ME and I was disgusted at the men sleeping in my street in the van.  

We asked that if they were going to LEAVE, please unhook the trailer in front of the property.  They attempted to turn around the 53 foot truck in our brand-new cul-de-sac and GOT IT STUCK.  Then, after un-sticking it, they TIPPED IT OVER!   

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Continue reading "Don't ever hire movers. Or, just don't move. Don't buy houses. Shout out to Casey Movers of Rockland, MA!" »


A very powerful self-photography project of weight loss surgery.

Finally.  Something I can post.

©geballe-sitting

"Currently, Samantha's work focuses on conceptual portraiture, allowing her to explore human emotion from the inside out. She is working on an on-going self-portrait series focused on body image and healing that challenges viewers to question what is means to accept oneself. "

©geballe-stomach

 

Her photos are shocking if not absolutely realistic and raw if you have lost hundred(s) of pounds with weight loss surgery

If you have yet to do so, I would not be alarmed.  Question the photos.  Dig into them.  Feel it.  This is is what we know.

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Cropped image. 


Quest Peanut Butter Protein Powder Pre-review, because I hesistate

Quest Nutrition Protein Powder, Peanut Butter, 23g Protein, Soy Free, 2lb Tub

This is my husband's favorite protein powder.   He literally just dumps it into almond milk and stirs it until just emulsified and sips it while still a bit lumpy.  And he loves it.

Tell me why I should like it.

I have been anti-Quest for so. very. long - I know I have to try it for review because it is in my kitchen calling me. 

Do you like this product?  Do you use it?  Do you hate it?  What other flavor of Quest powder do you enjoy?  What do you mix into it?

 


One month.

If everything goes as it should, the movers arrive in one month. 

One 53 foot long truck.  One day.  Five men.  All mine

Shut up. 

I asked for movers.  Mr. MM works often seven days a week (he is working right now, it's a seven day week - fourteen day week - 28 day?  I don't know?) and just, no.  We don't have that much stuff, but moving from a house with three flights of stairs to another with the same - is a lot of painful lifting and, no.  I don't have local friends.  Call me lazy if you'd like.  I've had enough head injury in the last year to say, HELL NAH I AIN'T DOING IT.

"Good luck getting help, too."  It's easier just to put the crazy cost of moving on a credit card, paying it off with the next bonus, and skipping the potential vacation next summer. (Yeah, we skipped it this year too, because Elliott.)

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If you have not bought or sold a house before, it can get quite expensive on either side.  Stuff pops up (either expected, like inspections, known problems....) or unexpectedly like things that you simply must have done for a buyer's mortgage to go through. (There's many rules and regulations based on the kind of buyer.)  We did not live here long enough or earn that much equity to really make out on the deal.  We put a lot of money into the house, and you don't usually get it back. 

In funner news!  Cleaning up!  Packing, a little?  And...

We have to eat up all the remaining fresh food and the kids are like, this is all that is left:

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Except I got the off-brand kind, and it's not EVEN THE SAME.

We have some serious problems over here.  I'll be blogging real quick because I need to make grocery money.

 


At least someone's eating right

Cows eat grass.  Babies eat grass.  It's good for, fiber, right?  Fiber in, uh, this form, hurts my old cranky gastric bypass belly.  I get (excuses) bezoars (/excuses) and I eat toast instead.  I'm not suggesting that one goes and eats grass, but some things I see Dieters Eat isn't much different than what this baby got in during his outside play yesterday.  :x  You don't have to tell me to worry about "your baby eating gross that's so gross do you know what might be in there?!"  Yes.  He's baby number five.  A lot worse will be eaten.  Salad, anyone?

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Before You Spend $26,000 on Weight-Loss Surgery, Do This - What?

Agreed.

It was the first thing we all did BEFORE weight loss surgery 13 - 15 years ago ANYWAY. Because, it works.

The problem *is* the flipping ________ is addictive and NOBODY GETS THAT PART OF THE EQUATION, and until THAT is figured out?

THE ANSWER IS WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY.

New York Times Op -

Before You Spend $26,000 on Weight-Loss Surgery, Do This

Download Before You Spend $26,000 on Weight-Loss Surgery, Do This - The New York Times

Earlier this year, the Food and Drug Administration approved a new weight-loss procedure in which a thin tube, implanted in the stomach, ejects food from the body before all the calories can be absorbed.

Some have called it “medically sanctioned bulimia,” and it is the latest in a desperate search for new ways to stem the rising tides of obesity and Type 2 diabetes. Roughly one-third of adult Americans are now obese; two-thirds are overweight; and diabetes afflicts some 29 million. Another 86 million Americans have a condition called pre-diabetes. None of the proposed solutions have made a dent in these epidemics.

Recently, 45 international medical and scientific societies, including the American Diabetes Association, called for bariatric surgery to become a standard option for diabetes treatment. The procedure, until now seen as a last resort, involves stapling, binding or removing part of the stomach to help people shed weight. It costs $11,500 to $26,000, which many insurance plans won’t pay and which doesn’t include the costs of office visits for maintenance or postoperative complications. And up to 17 percent of patients will have complications, which can include nutrient deficiencies, infections and intestinal blockages.

It is nonsensical that we’re expected to prescribe these techniques to our patients while the medical guidelines don’t include another better, safer and far cheaper method: a diet low in carbohydrates.

Once a fad diet, the safety and efficacy of the low-carb diet have now been verified in more than 40 clinical trials on thousands of subjects. Given that the government projects that one in three Americans (and one in two of those of Hispanic origin) will be given a diagnosis of diabetes by 2050, it’s time to give this diet a closer look.

When someone has diabetes, he can no longer produce sufficient insulin to process glucose (sugar) in the blood. To lower glucose levels, diabetics need to increase insulin, either by taking medication that increases their own endogenous production or by injecting insulin directly. A patient with diabetes can be on four or five different medications to control blood glucose, with an annual price tag of thousands of dollars.

Yet there’s another, more effective way to lower glucose levels: Eat less of it.

Glucose is the breakdown product of carbohydrates, which are found principally in wheat, rice, corn, potatoes, fruit and sugars. Restricting these foods keeps blood glucose low. Moreover, replacing those carbohydrates with healthy protein and fats, the most naturally satiating of foods, often eliminates hunger. People can lose weight without starving themselves, or even counting calories.

Most doctors — and the diabetes associations — portray diabetes as an incurable disease, presaging a steady decline that may include kidney failure, amputations and blindness, as well as life-threatening heart attacks and stroke. Yet the literature on low-carbohydrate intervention for diabetes tells another story. For instance, a two-week study of 10 obese patients with Type 2 diabetes found that their glucose levels normalized and insulin sensitivity was improved by 75 percent after they went on a low-carb diet.

At our obesity clinics, we’ve seen hundreds of patients who, after cutting down on carbohydrates, lose weight and get off their medications. One patient in his 50s was a brick worker so impaired by diabetes that he had retired from his job. He came to see one of us last winter, 100 pounds overweight and panicking. He’d been taking insulin prescribed by a doctor who said he would need to take it for the rest of his life. Yet even with insurance coverage, his drugs cost hundreds of dollars a month, which he knew he couldn’t afford, any more than he could bariatric surgery.

Instead, we advised him to stop eating most of his meals out of boxes packed with processed flour and grains, replacing them with meat, eggs, nuts and even butter. Within five months, his blood-sugar levels had normalized, and he was back to working part-time. Today, he no longer needs to take insulin.

Another patient, in her 60s, had been suffering from Type 2 diabetes for 12 years. She lost 35 pounds in a year on a low-carb diet, and was able to stop taking her three medications, which included more than 100 units of insulin daily.

One small trial found that 44 percent of low-carb dieters were able to stop taking one or more diabetes medications after only a few months, compared with 11 percent of a control group following a moderate-carb, lower-fat, calorie-restricted diet. A similarly small trial reported those numbers as 31 percent versus 0 percent. And in these as well as another, larger, trial, hemoglobin A1C, which is the primary marker for a diabetes diagnosis, improved significantly more on the low-carb diet than on a low-fat or low-calorie diet. Of course, the results are dependent on patients’ ability to adhere to low-carb diets, which is why some studies have shown that the positive effects weaken over time.

A low-carbohydrate diet was in fact standard treatment for diabetes throughout most of the 20th century, when the condition was recognized as one in which “the normal utilization of carbohydrate is impaired,” according to a 1923 medical text. When pharmaceutical insulin became available in 1922, the advice changed, allowing moderate amounts of carbohydrates in the diet.

Yet in the late 1970s, several organizations, including the Department of Agriculture and the diabetes association, began recommending a high-carb, low-fat diet, in line with the then growing (yet now refuted) concern that dietary fat causes coronary artery disease. That advice has continued for people with diabetes despite more than a dozen peer-reviewed clinical trials over the past 15 years showing that a diet low in carbohydrates is more effective than one low in fat for reducing both blood sugar and most cardiovascular risk factors.

The diabetes association has yet to acknowledge this sizable body of scientific evidence. Its current guidelines find “no conclusive evidence” to recommend a specific carbohydrate limit. The organization even tells people with diabetes to maintain carbohydrate consumption, so that patients on insulin don’t see their blood sugar fall too low. That condition, known as hypoglycemia, is indeed dangerous, yet it can better be avoided by restricting carbs and eliminating the need for excess insulin in the first place. Encouraging patients with diabetes to eat a high-carb diet is effectively a prescription for ensuring a lifelong dependence on medication.

At the annual diabetes association convention in New Orleans this summer, there wasn’t a single prominent reference to low-carb treatment among the hundreds of lectures and posters publicizing cutting-edge research. Instead, we saw scores of presentations on expensive medications for blood sugar, obesity and liver problems, as well as new medical procedures, including that stomach-draining system, temptingly named AspireAssist, and another involving “mucosal resurfacing” of the digestive tract by burning the inside of the duodenum with a hot balloon.

We owe our patients with diabetes more than a lifetime of insulin injections and risky surgical procedures. To combat diabetes and spare a great deal of suffering, as well as the $322 billion in diabetes-related costs incurred by the nation each year, doctors should follow a version of that timeworn advice against doing unnecessary harm — and counsel their patients to first, do low carbs.

Sarah Hallberg is medical director of the weight loss program at Indiana University Health Arnett, adjunct professor at the school of medicine, director of the Nutrition Coalition and medical director of a start-up developing nutrition-based medical interventions. Osama Hamdy is the medical director of the obesity and inpatient diabetes programs at the Joslin Diabetes Center at Harvard Medical School. A version of this op-ed appears in print on September 11, 2016, on page SR1 of the New York edition with the headline: The Old-Fashioned Way to Treat Diabetes.


Lots to catch up on, so I'll start backwards.

We are buying a new-to-us house.

Which means we are selling our house. 

We were able to successfully find a buyer on the first day of showings and that meant that we had the Find A House Immediately.  Why are we doing this?!  Because, my parents sold their house (my childhood home) and moved in.  Our house isn't large enough to fit myself, the husband, the five kids AND my parents.   We discussed doing just this a year or two ago -- but then Elliott arrived (... which I still haven't really discussed here on the blog?) and life has just been warp speed.

Sharing a shell

We had tossed around the idea of building an in-law apartment, or addition, but it just was not going to work out on this property.  So, sell the house - find another!  Easy enough! 

A-house-for-hermit-crab-imaje
For me:  A House Is Just A Shell.  You move shells as your life changes.  You - your family gets bigger, you get smaller. I see other people who get very attached to the material part of their homes, and want to drag it around with them - but?  Shake that shit off. 

I do not get that attached to my shell.  I like moving.  I see it as a fresh start, a new beginning.  Putting aside all the monetary costs involved,  $1000 deposit, $1000 home inspection, etc etc etc. moving can be really f - u - n. 

Right at the moment, we are nine people living in a house with one bath on the main floor and one kitchen and too many teenagers and a mobile baby and it can be A Bit Intense. 

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Everyone in this house likes their own space.  My kids don't want to share bedrooms.  They have been sharing here, there, everywhere, just to make it work -- and the baby hasn't had a room anywhere, yet.  He still won't in the new house.  He has been in my bed since day one. 

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I really can't worry about that, I mean, there's a garage?  (KIDDING.)  All I had asked for was a bedroom and a bathroom I could have access to without a queue at any given time.   SCORE.   And maybe a kitchen to roller skate in where I could line up 12 pizzas at a time for too many teenagers and guests.

We found one close to our current location, so that the kids can remain in college, 12th, 9th, 4th grade in their current schools.  It is quite nice - and with the basement in-law, it's larger than ours.  If all goes well with inspections, we should be moved in by November 1.

-Send Xanax, groceries, cleaning ladies, moving men and anti-seizure vibes!  Also seeking product to review.