Did you ever notice a pattern is the drama surrounding you at WORK -- at HOME -- or even ONLINE? *shameful look* Um, yes. /shameful look
Did you ever notice it might have something to do with... you? It often does. So? What to do about it?
How to be DRAMA FREE! Start with yourself.
via - http://www.workhappynow.com/2011/09/how-to-be-drama-fre-start-with-yourself/
(Gulp. This hurts.)
Blame Game
It’s easy to blame drama on others. After all, you’re the good guy in these dynamics; why don’t they get it?
One of the most difficult challenges for aspiring leaders is to “own their stuff”—to acknowledge that they are equally responsible for creating any situation where drama exists.
Four Energy-draining Personalities
Most drama is caused by four primary energy-draining personalities that sabotage workplace collaboration and synergy:
- Complainer -- The Complainer is the one who is never at fault – not enough time, resources or support.
- Controller -- The Controller has to be in charge – perhaps micromanaging, sometimes being the bully.
- Cynic -- The Cynic must be right; often pointing out how others’ ideas will never work and making fun of the person who brought it up.
- Caretaker -- The Caretaker wants to be liked so much that they say yes to everything, which becomes a problem when they bite off more than they can chew and they miss deadlines.
(Which one are YOU? I am a mix of all of them, but mainly Cynical -- I pick everything apart. Mr. MM is a Controller/Complainer. Unfortunately. This is a fail on my part -- I'm working on it. -MM)
How do I help others change? But, we have found that before you can guide others, you have to take inventory of your interaction strengths and the ways you sabotage relationships. The strength inventory is usually easy. It’s fun to appreciate your talent and amazing ability to do what you do. The sabotage inventory is more difficult. It requires the vulnerability and courage to seek others’ candid observations and advice about your behavior.
Watch Yourself
Taking my own advice, I asked myself what my part was in creating the drama. I wondered which Drama personalities I was using that were sabotaging us. I noticed how I had fallen into Complainer. I didn’t have enough time to do everything he asked and his requests were too hard. I realized that I would have micromanaged someone acting the way I was. Then I saw my Cynic. The enthusiasm I had at the beginning of the project had become critical… I saw everything wrong with what we were doing, but didn’t offer any suggestions to change. Once I saw myself in these drama roles, I could shift into taking responsibility – renegotiating our deadlines and making suggestions for how we could change the writing to be better.
By identifying and correcting the four drama roles (Complainer, Controller, Cynic, Caretaker), you are well on your way to eliminating drama. If you want even more clarity, invite your work colleagues, family members, and friends to give you timely, direct feedback.
Quick Drama Reducing Tips
Here is a quick way to start looking at how these drama roles show up for you. Ask friends and coworkers (or others!):
- Where do you see me complaining? Not taking responsibility for my situation?
- Where do you see me controlling? Taking over and micromanaging?
- Where do you see be being cynical? Discounting others or being sarcastic?
- Where do you seem me care-taking? Rescuing others instead of letting them do things on their own?
Okay. Maybe it will take some time. Don't attack me with all of them at once. LOL.
via - http://www.workhappynow.com/2011/09/how-to-be-drama-fre-start-with-yourself/
Need reminders? I do.
Here's a nifty list from Drama-Stoppers - LIVING DRAMA FREE
- 1) Treat others the way you want to be treated.
- 2) Keep what’s most important, MOST important... good relationships with family and friends matter MORE than material things.
- 3) Be CAREFUL what you say. Cussing and foul language is mean and nasty. (I uh...well.)
- 4) No matter how old you are, listen and obey your mom and dad. Show them the RESPECT they deserve. (Fine. *pout*)
- 5) Don’t fight/bully people. Violence is NEVER the answer.
- 6) Stay TRUE. Be a person who keeps your word. Don’t cheat on the people you’ve made a COMMITMENT to.
- 7) Stealing isn’t cool. If it doesn’t BELONG to you, don’t take it. If it doesn't BELONG to you and you find it, turn it in.
- 8) Lying and gossiping will get you NOWHERE. Be CAREFUL what you say...
- 9) Don’t be a HATER. Be HAPPY with what YOU have.
- 10) Get enough rest so that your tiredness doesn’t EFFECT your mood and judgment.
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